I've been married for several years.
We've never figured out the sex thing.
I mean, we have two kids, and we definitely have sex, but how much and all the rest of that is almost always an issue for us. Mostly, I just don't like it that much and although I love him, a lot, my interest in physical affection has more to do with cuddling and kissing than climax. (Although I can, and do, and like it, just so we get that straight.)
It's a pretty constant tension in our marriage, unfortunately. I was surprised to learn (even though I definitely had "hints" of it with previous boyfriends, and when I say "hints" I mean I am a total ignoramus in the face of obvious evidence) that our needs are somewhat different and mine are much more complicated emotionally. I think this is a stereotype in gender but many women I know have this problem.
I often resolve to recommit myself to figuring this whole deal out. But it's hard. We have two kids, we both work, and time, space, and desire are not always the easiest things to work out.
I've read a lot about sex and relationships, because I'm always trying to educate myself about it, and generally I would say that sex in marriage is pretty important. Definitely too important to ignore.
This year my new year's resolution is to have sex with my husband as often as possible and to figure. it. out.
That's what this blog is about.
If you are offended by any of that, I suggest you stop reading now.
But here's the deal.
1) I am keeping the whole thing anonymous. I will change details/names/etc to keep our identities secret.
2) my husband knows I'm blogging about it but he doesn't read it.
3) I blog about it because I need to process. I am a big processor. I'm a reflective person and I don't expect I'll ever get better unless I'm processing.
4) I keep things clean. Of course I'm telling you intimate details of my life, but I'm married, religious, and this is not designed to be anything but therapeutic. Whatever details there are will be because I'm a frank and open person, but vague unless the details are relevant.